


The Annoyingly Delicate Process Of Courting A Breath Player

by rosemarinae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Multi, Other, tags removed to make this unsearchable, there are no CWs to worry about
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22636654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemarinae/pseuds/rosemarinae
Summary: June Egbert is insecure. Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam are trying to reach out. Their friends are baffled by their useless lesbianism.
Comments: 44
Kudos: 105





	1. i'm in lesbians with you

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to a lot of people who beta read some of this! can't remember everyone(because this fic has been sitting untouched for, like, a month and a half), but i know kapbird and tragiccoyote helped out a bunch! thanks y'all <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kanaya and june watch scott pilgrim. i'm so sorry

You let out a shaky sigh as you walk through the door out into the cool night. You quickly check your phone, and shoot out a quick text to Rose- you’re late, again. The breeze brushes against your ankles, a reminder that you’re not wearing your typical baggy jeans, instead donning a long blue flowing skirt. Luckily, the consorts don’t seem to pay you any mind. It makes sense, after all; most of them don’t wear clothes anyway. You take off into the sky, skirt billowing as you begin the twenty-minute flight across the continent to uptown New Albany. 

Touching down upon the Maryam-Lalonde (or is it Lalonde-Maryam? You’re such a bad friend.) household’s doorstep, your shaking fist (come on, this is the fourth consecutive time you’ve forgotten to check the weather over here) hovers over the door for a second before you realize they have a doorbell. You sheepishly press the glowing little button. You wait a few seconds, expecting to hear footsteps, but instead the door swings open elegantly. 

KANAYA: June  
KANAYA: Apologies For The Wait  
KANAYA: I Was  


She stares off behind you for a moment. 

KANAYA: Occupied  
KANAYA: Please Come In  


You flash your signature Egbert smile and step inside. You’re asked to sit down, and you oblige. You notice it’s even darker in the parlor than usual- it’s less macabre and more just annoying. 

JUNE: so, uh.  
JUNE: not to be rude, kanaya, it’s nice to see you, but…  
JUNE: where’s rose?  


You’d been meeting up with Rose weekly after your… intervention, maybe? It was this big dumb thing where your friends gathered you round and told you not to be depressed. You then countered their demands with the revelation that you were, in fact, a girl, and so weren’t depressed but dysphoric. Those two things couldn't possibly coexist! Take that, friends who care about you! This was, of course, followed by another two months of silence. Eventually, Dave and Rose demanded you hang out with them once a week, for what Dave described as “gender non-specific sibling time but like in the same kinda way that bro time is a thing you get me” and Rose described as “Mandatory friend-therapy sessions.” However, today, Rose seems to be nowhere in sight. 

KANAYA: Ah Well You See That Was The Source Of My Hesitation In Greeting You  
KANAYA: She Told Me I Was “Working Myself To The Bone” Which Is A Human Idiomatic Expression I Of Course Pretended To Be Unfamiliar With   
KANAYA: But A Consequence Of This Was She Made Me Go Home To “Relax”  
KANAYA: I So Far Have Failed To Meet Her Demands  


You hesitate before speaking. It’s not like Kanaya to be so open with you specifically- she’s usually an observer in your conversations with Rose- but you figure emotional health is something all of you need to work on, and that means telling your friends when you’re stressed. 

JUNE: yeah, uh, you’re kind of in the caves all the time, huh?  
JUNE: i’m pretty sure rose was right about this one.  
KANAYA: She Usually Is But That Does Not Make Things Any Easier For Me  
JUNE: hmm.  
JUNE: when i want to relax i usually just put on a movie or something.  
JUNE: maybe we could try that?  
KANAYA: I Am Skeptical But I Have No Better Ideas  
JUNE: okay! let me try to find something that you might like.  


You open up the list you’ve got saved on your phone and scroll through the myriad of options available to you. You rule out anything relating to Nic Cage- reminds her too much of Vriska, you know that from experience. No hetero rom-coms, those are for when you’re watching with Karkat. Having ruled out roughly ninety-five percent of your list, you arrive at what you hope is good enough to watch. 

JUNE: have you seen scott pilgrim versus the world?  
KANAYA: Is That The Gam--  
JUNE: yes, it’s the gamer movie.  
JUNE: it does have a lesbian in it!  
JUNE: but of course she isn’t treated super well. i mean, unless you consider oversexualization appropriate treatment.  
KANAYA: Ill Settle In For A Long Night Of Staring At The Space Next To The Television Pretending To Watch  
KANAYA: Shall We Head Into The Theater Room  
JUNE: you guys have a theater room?  


Yes, it turns out, the Maryam-Lalonde household has a theater room. A couch that looks as though it could swallow you whole faces a…. thoroughly destroyed television in a dark room. It’s barely even recognizable- the rectangular shape more resembles an avant-garde representation of a porcupine, shards of screen sticking out every which way. If you weren't so worried about Kanaya, you'd think it belonged in a museum. 

JUNE: uh.  
KANAYA: Shit  
KANAYA: Okay I Will Be Entirely Honest With You I Am Even More Stressed Than I Led You To Believe  
KANAYA: There Were Several Of What You Would Call Rookie Mistakes Made By Brooders Who Should Have Known Better  
KANAYA: I Did Not Wish To Lash Out At Them More Than Necessary  
KANAYA: I Was Watching Some Troll Martha Stewart But Then The TV Encountered Some Sort Of Issue I Was Unsure On How To Handle  
KANAYA: So I May Have  
KANAYA: Snapped  
JUNE: maybe even literally. look at the tv!  
KANAYA: Ha Ha  


Shit. Was that the wrong move? You’re constantly struggling to get a read on Kanaya, but… you think you see the smallest crack of a smile on her face? Maybe? Fuck, you’ve been staring at her for way too fucking long now, this is incredibly awkward, just-- 

KANAYA: Ahem  
KANAYA: So I Suppose Watching Movies Is No Longer An Option  


Oh god you have no idea what else to do with Kanaya. 

JUNE: oh! um, no, it’s okay. i think i have it on my phone?  
JUNE: if the screen isn’t too small for you.  
KANAYA: You Mean Well Be Huddling Around A Small Glowing Rectangle Like Dying Lusii Desperate For Warmth  
JUNE: uh  
KANAYA: Im Joking  
KANAYA: Lets Watch Your Gamer Movie  


* 

Kanaya is surprisingly warm, pressed against you. You guess you’d kind of always assumed vampires would be super cold? She is a troll vampire, though, so maybe it’s backwards or something. It’s actually a comfort to you-- for some reason, Rose and Kanaya refuse to turn the heating on in their home, and it’s mid-November in New York. A couple times you find yourself pressed against her…. more than is necessary, probably, and you recoil back half a foot each time you notice. She graciously says nothing. Rose really is lucky to have her, huh? 

You’re close to the end of the movie, having proceeded through most of it with only the occasional snide remark from Kanaya or one of your trademark mini-lore dumps. Surprisingly, Kanaya breaks the near-silence with a question:  


KANAYA: Why Do The Minions Here In This Subterranean Celebration Prism Award More Points And Human Canadian Currency Than The Boss Humans From Earlier  


You’re stunned, but only for a moment. You won’t let a thread of conversation slip between your fingers this time. 

JUNE: right???? that always bothered me!  
JUNE: they don’t even have any special powers or anything.  
KANAYA: Yes It Seems Like A Serious Inconsistency In The Previously Airtight Logic Of This Film  
KANAYA: Im Sure This Is The Plothole That Most Desperately Needed Attention  
JUNE: oh, shush! it’s not about the story, it’s about the characters!  
KANAYA: You Mean The Two Main Characters Who Seem To Have No Idea How To Breach The Concept Of Basic Attraction Let Alone Healthy Quadrant Relationships  
JUNE: ok that’s fair.  
JUNE: but it’s a good movie! i--  


You just missed roughly half of the climax. You bet Kanaya doesn’t even know why Scott Pilgrim is in the desert from earlier now! This is clearly what needs addressing at this very moment. 

JUNE: oh, shit, we missed a bunch of important stuff. let me just go back.  
KANAYA: No Thats Quite Alright  


Oh. 

She’s put her right hand over your left, in what is presumably an attempt to stop you from making her watch more of the movie, but…. 

You’re making eye contact now. Even in the dark, you can see her beautiful, glistening yellow eyes, pupils shining with just a hint of jade. They bore into your very being, feeling almost nefarious in their intent. Rose may be a Seer, but right now it feels that Kanaya can see all of you, too. 

Shit. Shit shit shit. This is terrifying. You fumble and drop your phone in a panic, mumbling something incoherently under your breath before you finally get out a pitiful apology. 

JUNE: fuck, sorry.  
JUNE: dropped the phone.  
KANAYA: Its Quite Alright  
KANAYA: I Wasnt Really Paying Attention To The Movie  
KANAYA: Is Your Phone Intact  


Your eyes dart to the screen, which currently only displays the time. It must have went to sleep in all of that time you spent being a creepy jackass. You also notice.... two texts from Rose? Is everything alright? With a slight bit of residual panic, mixed with newfound anxiety, you bring your phone up to your face. 

JUNE: uh, yeah. it’s fine. um.  


You check the first text. “Have a nice night,” it says. Okay, normal enough. The second one? 

Oh no. 

It’s the worst thing one could possibly receive from Rose. 

A lone emoticon. 

;). 

Your train of thought is derailed so hard it tumbles off a bridge and explodes at the bottom of an Appalachian valley. What the hell is that supposed to mean? What is going on with Kanaya tonight? Why- 

KANAYA: June  
KANAYA: Are You Alright  


Shit, she’s placed her hand on your knee, what are the implications of that, fuck, you- 

KANAYA: You Are Perspiring An Entirely Unreasonable Amount For How Cold It Is Right Now  
JUNE: uh.  


You have to get out of here. 

JUNE: fuck, i think i left my oven on.  
KANAYA: Have You Ever Even Baked Before  
JUNE: no, but um. i was about to try? and, uh, i gave up, but not before turning on the oven. and i think i forgot.  
KANAYA: Oh Well You Could Zap Home And Check Right  
JUNE: uh, well, i don’t like to retcon much anymore, even if i’m uh.  
JUNE: what did dave and rose call it? moving laterally in time?  
JUNE: i’ll have to fly back, and uh.  
JUNE: it’s late! haha, yeah, it’s late. sorry, i had a lot of fun, but uh.  
JUNE: you know how things go.  
KANAYA: I Do Not Actually  
KANAYA: But I Understand If You Need To Leave  
KANAYA: Ill Let Rose Know She Just Missed You  


Shit, Rose. You hesitate for a moment. She hasn’t said it, or given too many signs, but the both of you know your weekly meet-ups mean a lot to her. You don’t want to just bail. You glance back at Kanaya. She stares at you with a hint of concern, her brilliant eyes pushing what feels like the whole of the Green Sun into your own. 

JUNE: yeah, i guess you will! sorry about all that, haha. feeling a bit weird tonight.  


Kanaya’s lips curve into a somewhat somber smile. 

KANAYA: Its Alright  
KANAYA: Will We Be Seeing You Next Week  
JUNE: uh, yeah!  
JUNE: of course.  


You half-leap off the couch, out of the door, and down the hallway to the foyer. Standing outside, as a flurry of snow whipped about by an unreasonable amount of wind whirls around you, you hesitate for just a moment. You look back into the barren household, and almost head back for a second. Then you remember that you’d almost certainly be making things even worse. You quickly yet quietly close the door, and take off into the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two coming crazy soon! it's already written and is, like, three times as long as this one. it just needs to be formatted and whatnot. it has dave and rose in it though, so that contributes to the word count immensely. oh well. thanks for reading!


	2. you're my favorite customer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some gamers have a movie night. Gossip is exchanged. Prolonged flashbacks are had.

The freezing flight back to your house gives you a lot of time to think. Why were you being so weird with Kanaya? She was just being friendly, and needed some relief from the stress of her super important job- why did you have to go and fuck stuff up? You let out a shaky sigh- partially due to your distraught state, and partially due to the fact that it is fucking cold up here. You’re lucky being god-tier provides you with some insulation from the cold. You were like this last week, too- Rose was just being a nice friend, and you read into it like it was some sort of enthralling modern young adult novel. A winky face is an entirely regular emoticon, you had no reason to react as you did. You’re pretty sure Jade sends you those all the time, and she’s your sister, for fucks’ sake. You continue to linger on tonight’s events for the entirety of the trip back. As you cross back into what was once the Consort Kingdom, fatigue overcomes you. At least you’re almost home. You fly into your ajar window, collapsing onto your bed that’s just slightly too small. You don’t even bother getting out of your clothes- you kick off your shoes, get halfway under the covers, and pass the fuck out. 

* 

You wake up for what you presume is at least the third time, given how many alarms you’ve passed through. You were never the type to sleep through loud noises- but once you hit the button on your phone, you end up falling right back asleep. Fantastic. You wearily feel for your glasses, (you desperately need new frames, and maybe a new prescription) put them on, and grab your phone. Twenty-four unread texts from Dave- sounds about right. You pull them up. 

TG: june  
TG: juuuune  
TG: june motherfucking egbert  
TG: shit do you ever think about how thats dangerously close to being a literal phrase like  
TG: you actually dated my mom for a bit i mean we both know it didnt pan out and all but if you two hadnt caught the transgender disease you coulda been literal motherfuckers  
TG: wait was that transphobic i didnt mean that being trans is bad or anything im not problematic i swear  
TG: ok well anyway im glad you didnt fuck my mom who is actually kind of a dude but not really  
TG: hes still a mom though glad hes down with that one because im pretty sure if i accidentally called him daddy i would have to go into hiding  
TG: not like i ever leave my house anyway  
TG: speaking of which youre still coming over today right  
TG: karkat and i are just chilling waiting for you pretty much we literally never do anything with our lives  
TG: im on the edge of my seat waiting for my girl june to walk through those doors  
TG: karkats excited too even though he wont admit it  
TG: hes probably got some romcom hes gonna shove in our faces but i mean its not like we ever paid attention anyway  
TG: pretty easy to just talk over it and make him mad lmao  
TG: though honestly hes been a bit off lately we might have to at least pretend to watch it to make the dude feel better  
TG: hes my best bro yknow  
TG: its nice that thats an uncontested position now that youre a chick like  
TG: before i was taking a risk each time i named my best bro like i was endorsing a candidate for president or something  
TG: thats shit you cant take back i dont have the verbal skill to tiptoe around using the words best bro  
TG: what im saying is that you did me a huge favor by being a girl and ill forever be in your debt  
TG: i can repay that debt by havin you over whenever you finally wake up  
TG: see you soon june  
TG: damn that rhymes  


You cringe a little. You’re still not entirely over what happened with Roxy-- you’re eternally grateful to him for helping you with the gender stuff, but breaking up over his own gender reveal was kinda rough. You can’t exactly help being a lesbian, you suppose. You sigh, and literally roll out of bed, floating in mid air as you let your momentum take you into the bathroom. Your typical morning routine flies by-- take the future Earth C meds, shave your entire body in the shower, eat a bowl and a half of shitty knockoff Trix. Usual stuff. Having exhausted all of your confidence on last night’s outfit, you throw on a light blue hoodie and some jeans. You fumble with your hair for a moment or two, and head out the door. Dave and Karkat live a lot closer to you- Can Town was founded near what you think used to be, like, Kansas or something? Ten minutes of uneventful flight go by, and you land downtown without much fanfare. You’re relieved that you only get a couple stares- people are finally getting used to seeing you in public again. You knock on the door. You hear a muffled voice work its way through. 

KARKAT: COME IN!  


You open the door, and step into the impressively dark household. It’s midday, and yet you struggle to see three feet in front of you. What is it with your friends and lurking in darkness? 

DAVE: sup  


Dave greets you, shades nearly sliding off his face, lying upside-down on the couch. His head dangles off the seat, and his legs reach past the cushion, his feet halfway up the wall. Karkat sits sideways next to him, leaning onto an armrest, legs on top of Dave’s back. It looks like an incredibly uncomfortable experience for the both of them. 

JUNE: hey. uh, what exactly are you doing?  
DAVE: oh you know just chilling  
DAVE: hanging out like bros do you know just kinda vibing as they say  
KARKAT: YEAH, JUNE, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT US TO SAY? WHAT IF I ASKED YOU WHAT *YOU* WERE DOING? YEAH, YOU’RE STANDING AWKWARDLY IN OUR OPEN DOORWAY, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU BE DOING?  
JUNE: geez. okay, karkat, i get it. i won’t call you two out for cuddling anymore.  


At the sound of the C-word, Dave quickly slithers off the couch and onto the floor, not unlike a frightened snake. He picks himself up off the floor, brushes himself off, and begins to walk towards the kitchen. He calls out to you over his shoulder. 

DAVE: anyway uh you want anything i think weve got like soda and shit  
DAVE: i havent been out to the store in like weeks so i think its all the shitty flavors of seltzer water   
JUNE: um, i’m good, thanks.  
DAVE: all the cucumber pomegranate for me then  


He turns into the kitchen. At least, you think he does, given that you can’t see anything more than five feet away. Karkat, who has now re-adjusted to take up the entire couch, starts talking again. 

KARKAT: SO, JUNE, TODAY’S MY DAY TO CHOOSE.  
KARKAT: WELL, IT’S TECHNICALLY DAVE’S, BUT AS WE ALL KNOW HE’S FORBIDDEN FROM CHOOSING FILMS AFTER WE HAD TO WATCH THE ROOM FOR THE SIXTH TIME IN ONE MONTH.  
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW HOW HUMANS MANAGED TO MAKE SOMEONE *WORSE* THAN TROLL TOMMY WISEAU, BUT THEY ABSOLUTELY DID. TRULY, THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF YOUR SPECIES.  
KARKAT: ARE YOU PROUD, JUNE? ARE YOU PROUD OF WHAT YOU’VE DONE?  
JUNE: i mean, it was funny the first time, and maybe the second.   
JUNE: i think that the third time we saw the movie was what did it.  
KARKAT: YOU MEAN BECAUSE WE HAD TO WATCH THE SAME SEX SCENE TWICE PER WATCH-THROUGH?  
JUNE: yeah, that. also, dave being able to quote the majority of the lines stopped being endearing about ten minutes in.  
DAVE: damn june youre tearing me apart  


You jump a bit as you notice Dave standing right behind you, a can of soda water in each hand. He tosses one to Karkat, who fails miserably to catch it and instead takes the raspberry-pumpkin drink straight to the face. Dave, who seems to be entirely used to these affairs, simply moves Karkat’s legs and sits closer to him than Kanaya did to you last night. 

JUNE: oh, hey, before we get started on whatever movie you want to watch-  
KARKAT: THE SHAGGY BARKBEAST, FEATURING TROLL TIM ALLEN.  
JUNE: sure, that. before we commit to ninety minutes of tim allen making dog noises, could i um.  
JUNE: could i get some advice i guess?  
DAVE: what kind of advice exactly  
DAVE: because like listen im like ask dr. dave here so i can cover everything across the problem spectrum but youre gonna have to let us know what were getting into  
DAVE: also because i need to know if i should duct tape karkat’s mouth first so that he cant ruin my epic wisdom  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU.  
JUNE: it’s, uh, interpersonal relationships?  
DAVE: june that is so incredibly unspecific like was there a single question on one of those shitty newspaper advice columns that didnt talk about who wanted to fuck who or like  
DAVE: i guess the kids ones were probably about just like passing notes in class  
KARKAT: WE HAD SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON ALTERNIA, EXCEPT IT WAS MOSTLY JUST HIGHBLOODS COMPLAINING ABOUT THEIR SUBORDINATES. NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN THE RESPONSE WOULD JUST BE “CULL THEM.”  
DAVE: damn your planet was fucked up sometimes i forget that  
DAVE: anyway june what kind of interpersonal relationship  
DAVE: in fact fuck that question our group of friends is like ten people just tell me who youre talking about  
JUNE: uh.  
JUNE: rose and kanaya.  


Dave and Karkat share a look that you’re entirely unable to decipher. It lasts only a brief moment, and then their eyes turn back to you. 

DAVE: what are they flirting with each other around you or something  
DAVE: i told them that shit would be uncomfortable i swear to god  
JUNE: no, no!  
JUNE: okay, well, kind of? but not like that.  
KARKAT: GET TO THE POINT, JACKASS.  
JUNE: okay, okay! i think... rose and kanaya were flirting with me?  
DAVE: what  
KARKAT: YEAH, WHAT!?  
JUNE: i know, i know! a week ago, it was just me and rose, and things seemed off, but that was just one time. i didn’t want to be weird and mention it!  
JUNE: but last night, rose was at the caverns. kanaya was... really touchy? like, not in a mom way, but in a sexy way.  
JUNE: plus we made so much eye contact.  
DAVE: ok thats kind of weird for her but like im not exactly certain that means anything  
DAVE: she couldve just been stressed without rose  
KARKAT: YEAH, SHE’S BEEN REALLY BUSY LATELY. I’M PRETTY SURE SHE’S ALLOWED TO ACT A LITTLE BIT OUT OF CHARACTER.  
JUNE: yeah, i would think so too, but...  
DAVE: what happened with rose  
DAVE: sometimes its easy to see things in her words that arent there because she can twist words like theyre fuckin silly putty  
JUNE: yeah, with rose... it was a little more elaborate.   
JUNE: let me start from the beginning.  


* 

Fuck, it’s cold. Today marks the third consecutive week you’ve forgotten to check the weather over at Rose’s house. It was so warm on the West Coast, who could blame you? You fight through the shivers as you knock on the door. It swings open in a matter of seconds. 

ROSE: June! How delightful to see you again.  
ROSE: Please come in, you look like you’ll soon be a woman encased in ice.  
JUNE: haha, yeah, wouldn’t want people millions of years from now checking out my frosty brain.  
ROSE: Archaeologists would be stumped by the discovery of a goddess buried beneath the New New York topsoil.  
JUNE: maybe they’ll try to revive me, and i’ll be amazed at all of the modern technology!  
ROSE: Of course, you’ll be quickly overwhelmed, and run out into the plaza of a large city and scream into the busy sky in anguish. The moral of “phones bad” shan’t be lost on a single soul.  
JUNE: yeah haha. it really is cold though, can i come in?  


You eagerly walk past her, stepping into the warmth.. You absorb the familiar sights of the place- now that you’ve been coming here every week, it’s becoming more and more like a second home. 

ROSE: Kanaya won’t be here tonight- she’s off at the caves.  
ROSE: She’s been working herself to the bone recently, you know.  
JUNE: isn’t she always working like that?  


A speck of guilt flashes across Rose’s face. 

ROSE: Yes, I suppose she is.  
ROSE: Anyway! Do you have any activities marked for the agenda this evening? I’m sure you’ve got some excellent film queued away, or a video game you think you’ll be able to beat me at.  
JUNE: no, i don’t think i’m in the mood to get absolutely destroyed at mario kart.  
JUNE: i don’t really have anything planned for tonight.  
JUNE: i’ve been kind of busy, i guess.  
ROSE: Busy? Forgive me, June, but I don’t think you’ve been busy in about eight years.   


Her expression softens almost imperceptibly. 

ROSE: What’s really going on?  


You let out a sigh. Why does she have to know you so well? 

JUNE: i guess i haven’t been feeling too great.  
JUNE: it’s been kind of lonely, i think?  
JUNE: seeing you and kanaya and dave and karkat and all every week is great!  
JUNE: but i think i’m getting tired of living alone.  
JUNE: maybe i should get a cat or something.  


Rose is uncharacteristically silent. Her mind appears to be running as fast as ever- she looks as though she’s pondering some sort of deep philosophical question- but her lips remain still. She looks… conflicted, almost? 

JUNE: rose? are you okay?  


She snaps back to reality in an instant, her composure returning in earnest as she tilts her head slightly and gives off a small smile. 

ROSE: I’m splendid.  
ROSE: A cat would be a fantastic idea.  
JUNE: yeah, maybe.  


You twiddle your thumbs. Something is definitely going unsaid, but you have no idea how to approach it. 

Rose gestures to the couch. 

ROSE: Please, take a seat. I’ll get us drinks.  


She’s gone for a moment, and returns with two wine glasses filled with a pale, light green fizzy liquid. Rose notices your confusion, and speaks up. 

ROSE: Don’t worry. It’s just carbonated grape juice.  
ROSE: I have to admit, it’s grown on me.  


She delicately sits down on the couch next to you- despite her poise, the additional weight brings you both a solid two inches down into the couch next to each other. She re-adjusts wordlessly, and tilts her head at you. 

ROSE: Besides, er, the loneliness, how has your past week been?  
ROSE: Any interactions of note?  
JUNE: uh, not really?  
JUNE: i don’t really end up talking to anyone most of the time.  
JUNE: it was just a pretty empty week full of getting texted by dave and watching tv.  
ROSE: ...  


Rose appears contemplative for what must be the millionth time tonight. Shit, why do you keep dropping depressing shit for her to deal with? This is probably why nobody wants to deal with you, and why everyone has to force themselves to hang out with yo- 

ROSE: June.  


She places one hand on your shoulder, and the other on your hand. Her touch is warm- you hadn’t realized how cold you still were. 

ROSE: You know you’re welcome here at any time, right?  
ROSE: We’re often at the caves, but you can tag along there as well.  
ROSE: Your solitude is by no means mandatory.  
JUNE: oh gosh, rose.  
JUNE: i-  
ROSE: You won’t be a burden. Honestly. These days, I find myself drowning in a sea of paperwork that seems to reach leagues in all directions. You’d be a much needed breath of fresh air.  
ROSE: Pun entirely intended.  


You let out a quiet chuckle. You don’t feel much better- you’re still unconvinced that Rose hasn’t extended this offer merely to combat your depression- but you can only stay but so gloomy near Rose’s illuminating presence. 

ROSE: Hm. You’re still shivering.  


She pulls both of her hands off you, and you feel a twinge of sadness. It’s been a while since you’ve had such… intimate contact. She takes a couple steps towards a nearby chair, retrieves a blanket, and brings it back over. She drapes the both of you in it. 

ROSE: We only have the one- Mutini committed what could be compared to a war crime in the linen closet, and Kanaya and I haven’t yet had the time to repair the tears. Apologies for the inconvenience.  


You attempt to formulate a response that does not make it immediately clear that you’re grateful for both the warmth and human closeness, but apparently your silence is just as telling. Rose gives you a sly look and then pulls a book off of the table next to her. 

ROSE: So we’ll just be sitting and chatting, then? If you don’t have any ideas that have come to you in the past few minutes, that is.  
JUNE: yeah, i guess so.  
JUNE: is that okay?  
ROSE: Of course it is. It’s not as though I invite you here for your elaborate schemes.  
ROSE: Those tend to be more my responsibility.  
JUNE: oh yeah? then where’s your schedule for tonight?  
ROSE: You see, that’s an interesting tale. I had a whole itinerary ready to go for our activities tonight, but I left it in the wash. Truly, a tragedy; months of effort and research had gone into discovering the perfect way to spend our time. I couldn’t possibly have remembered it all, so I wrote it down. Alas, it has been lost, and so instead we must sit and talk, so unlike the intellectuals that we are.  
JUNE: that’s a really funny way to say “i thought you would know what to do,” rose.  


She lets out a soft, gentle laugh. Rose laughing is one of your favorite sounds- she rarely loosens her composure enough to let one slip. She really must be comfortable tonight. 

ROSE: Perhaps it is.  


A moment of comfortable silence passes, but you slowly feel as though you must move the conversation forward. Increasingly desperate for subject matter, you glance at her book, but the cover is impossible to see from this angle. 

JUNE: what’re you reading?  
ROSE: Oh, this? It’s just some alchemized nonsense.  
ROSE: Recently, I’ve found myself in the habit of smashing entirely unrelated books together just to see what incomprehensible drivel comes from the result.  
ROSE: This particular tome is the sickly lovechild of Atlas Shrugged and the Hunger Games.  
ROSE: It’s exactly the same as the latter work, except it paints the whole “children murdering each other” ordeal as something to be upheld as a sign of upholding individual merit.  
ROSE: It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read. I am so very thankful Ayn Rand’s grave is most likely space dust by now.  
JUNE: that sounds... miserable, and somewhat triggering?  
ROSE: Well, yes, but it’s also hilarious to see Objectivist rhetoric flounder when held under any scrutiny.  
ROSE: Don’t tell your ecto-mother I said that.  
JUNE: gosh, can we talk about literally anyone or anything else?  
JUNE: you know i am a massive fan of our weekly gossip corner, but i really just do not want to think about that situation.  
ROSE: Well, there’s many other points of discussion in our friend group alone.  
ROSE: Dave and Karkat?  


* 

DAVE: wait shit yall were talking about us  
JUNE: uhh.  
KARKAT: HOLD ON. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOSSIPPING WITHOUT ME, YOU’RE ALSO GOSSIPING WITH LALONDE *ABOUT* ME?  
KARKAT: WHAT IN THE EVERLIVING FUCK DID YOU TWO TALK ABOUT?  
JUNE: wow, haha, i sure did linger on some unimportant parts of my story!  
JUNE: anyway, as i was saying, my own relationship problems.  
KARKAT: WE’RE COMING BACK TO THIS, EGBERT.  
JUNE: so we were there talking under the blanket for a while, maybe a couple hours...  


* 

ROSE: Kanaya should be back soon.  
ROSE: Well, honestly, she should’ve been back an hour ago, but I expected her to stay a bit later than she told me she would.  
JUNE: seer powers?  
ROSE: No, I’m just incredibly familiar with my wife.  
ROSE: People like you and her tend to be very predictable, at least for me.  
JUNE: wait, why me?  


Rose says nothing, merely smiling knowingly at you. You’re entirely used to it, of course, but part of you always has had that desire to know exactly what she’s talking about. You keep your mouth shut this time, however- Rose is busy tapping away at her phone screen. A moment passes, and then she wordlessly puts it back down on the table next to her. She sighs. 

ROSE: She’ll be another hour.  
ROSE: At the least.  


She puts her hands over her face, and slowly drags them downward while letting out a melodramatic sigh. She’s exaggerating, but you can tell she’s genuinely distressed. Your hand goes to her shoulder, but you hesitate, and you pull it back wordlessly. You open your mouth a few times, but you really just do not know how to comfort people. 

ROSE: I feel like it’s my fault.  
ROSE: I should do more, shouldn’t I?  
JUNE: i don’t know...  
ROSE: I know, I’m sorry. Putting this on you was not at all what I had planned for tonight.  
JUNE: i thought you didn’t have any plans?  


Rose lets out a quick snort. 

ROSE: Perhaps.  


She scoots a little bit closer to you. 

ROSE: It’s freezing, you know.  
JUNE: uh, yeah.  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: are you sure you’re doing okay?  


Rose opens her mouth to speak, but instead closes it. She breaks eye contact with you, blinking rapidly. She tries to speak again. 

ROSE: Terribly sorry for this.  


She re-adjusts herself, moving even closer to you, and leans in for a hug. It’s unfamiliar to you- Rose typically isn’t one for this kind of affection. After a moment, you start to return it- she really is cold, you notice. 

ROSE: It’s truly awful, what I’m putting you through.  
JUNE: no, um, it’s okay.  
ROSE: Reassuring.  
JUNE: no, really! it’s totally fine. no weirdness here!  


You have no idea how to handle this. You want to comfort your friend, but most of your words feel as though they’re caught in some sort of cloud lingering in your brain. Why are you being like this? Why can’t you just be normal and comfort a friend? 

ROSE: I don’t think you’re the only one suffering from loneliness.  
ROSE: It might do all of us good to be around each other a bit more.  
JUNE: what do you mean?  
ROSE: Would you like to come over again? In a couple days, perhaps.  
ROSE: I shouldn’t be as insufferable then.  


You feel something not entirely unlike anger when Rose refers to herself that way. You’re defensive of your friends, you guess- even when their verbal assailants are themselves. 

JUNE: you’re not insufferable!  
JUNE: rose, i am very happy to be with you tonight.  
JUNE: even if we’re being a bunch of sad sacks.  
ROSE: I suppose that is what we are, isn’t it?  
ROSE: Lumps of melancholy, wasting away on my uncomfortably plush couch.  
ROSE: Here.  


She stands up, then spins on her heel one hundred and eighty degrees to face you. She extends her hand down for you to grab. With a bit of flying effort on your part, she pulls you up next to her, and for a moment, you two are standing next to each other. Your faces are mere inches apart, though your height compared to hers does mean you’re looking down upon her. There’s something shining in her eyes, glistening like moonlight. Although it only lasts a couple of seconds, you feel as though you have spent an eternity looking into Rose’s soul. 

ROSE: A-ahem.  


She pulls away, letting go of your hand. As she turns away from you, you notice her… blushing? Is Rose Lalonde *flustered?* 

ROSE: I think it’s nigh time we get ready to eat. I think we have some grubloaf I could reheat.  
ROSE: Earth C microwaves do wonders, you know.  


You quickly hum in agreement, and awkwardly scurry up behind her. What the actual fuck just happened? 

* 

JUNE: the rest of the night was pretty normal.  
JUNE: she was kind of touchy, but she’s been like that a lot recently.  
JUNE: i don’t know.  
KARKAT: JUNE, I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE DUMBEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.  


You turn to Karkat- you’d been staring at the wall the entire time you’d been telling the story- and see his almost amused expression. 

JUNE: what? is it really that obvious that they aren’t flirting with me? i knew i was projectin-  
KARKAT: JEGUS THIS IS ADORABLE.  
DAVE: yeah june im not gonna lie this is just about the cutest goddamn thing ive ever seen and ive seen karkat when he wakes up after falling asleep on the couch  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: what  
JUNE: um.  


A moment of silence passes. It’s one of the most awkward experiences of your entire life. Eventually, realizing you’re the only one with the power to do so, you speak up. You feel braver than any US Marine. 

JUNE: right. uh, karkat, what were you saying? something likely misguided about me being, uh, “adorable?”  
KARKAT: RIGHT. YEAH. NO. JUNE, THAT IS SOME TEXTBOOK FLUSHED SHIT.  
KARKAT: IF BOTH KANAYA *AND* ROSE ARE DOING THIS WHOLE FUCKING PITYCHIRPBEAST ROUTINE IT’S OBVIOUSLY A COORDINATED ATTEMPT TO WOO YOU.   
KARKAT: NOBODY WOULD BE THAT TOUCHY IN A PLATONIC WAY.  


You glance over to Dave and Karkat. They’re sitting together in a knock-off brand recliner that is absolutely not supposed to fit two people. If either of them moved even a little, the sheer force of the stretched armrests would push them together into the missionary position. It looks like it’s the most uncomfortable thing in the world. 

JUNE: i...  


You falter for a moment. 

JUNE: haha, sure.  
JUNE: could we, uh, talk about something else?  


Karkat looks like he’s about to say something, (which, to be fair, is how he always looks, given he’s always about to say something) but he swiftly changes his mind when Dave shoots him a look that somehow penetrates his shades. 

KARKAT: YEAH, FUCK IT.  
KARKAT: HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR SEVERAL HOURS OF TROLL TIM ALLEN.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took a long fucking time, huh? Wouldn't you know it, it's been written for multiple months already. Two whole months. Yep! I made myself write chapter three before I let myself format this one, and then I procrastinated formatting for a month and a half. It's here though! Please validate me for my Herculean struggle!
> 
> Also, follow me on various social media platforms, please:  
@rosemarinae on Twitter  
@mayrosemary on Tumblr  
If you have a question, private comment, or just need to chat, you can message me on Discord at @mayrosemary#0001.  
Hope you enjoyed!


	3. the L word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Rose ask Rose's mom about how to date his ex.  
It goes far better than the above sentence would suggest.
> 
> (thanks to @kapbird for editing as always!)

ROSE: And so she *ran?*  
KANAYA: Yes It Was Honestly Embarrassing  
KANAYA: For The Both Of Us Most Likely  
ROSE: I was absolutely positive that she’d finally figure it out.  
ROSE: How much physical contact can one experience without connecting those dots?  
KANAYA: Im Not Certain  
KANAYA: Weve Been As Obvious As Possible  
KANAYA: I Mean Just Short Of Sitting Her Down And Telling Her But Considering The Earlier Panic Im Unsure Of How Well That Would Go  
KANAYA: Im At A Loss Here  
KANAYA: She Was Absolutely Adorable Last Night But Its Unlikely Well Get A Second Chance  
ROSE: Previously I had been somewhat uncertain as to her actual feelings, but after last week I’m absolutely positive.  


You’re lying. The uncertainty still gnaws at your stomach, but you push forward anyway, even though Kanaya can absolutely pick up on it. 

ROSE: No woman can stare into another’s eyes with that passion without feeling attraction.  
KANAYA: Yes Im Well Aware Of That  
ROSE: And after all that talk about loneliness? It was like I was an open book! I’d translated the scrolls of my heart to her language, and laid them out for her open eyes!   
KANAYA: From What Youve Told Me It Was Very Obvious  
KANAYA: Id Say The Same For My One On One Encounters With Her Although Ill Admit That Regrettably Ive Had Relatively Few  
KANAYA: Im Not Certain We Should Both Try Together  
KANAYA: But Making Individual Advances Is Ineffective At Best  
KANAYA: Im Kind Of At A Loss Here  
ROSE: What are our other options?  


The both of you spend a brief moment pondering. You’d tried being touchy, loving stares into each other’s eyes, witty banter- you know that worked excellently for you and Kanaya. You think back to those dark, distressing days on the meteor- when she was your lighthouse when you were lost, the sun in your sky, your…. 

KANAYA: Rose  
KANAYA: Rose  
KANAYA: Rose Youre Spinning Prose About Women You Love In Your Head Again  


You snap back to reality. 

ROSE: Right, of course, so terribly sorry.  
ROSE: I was just thinking about my wonderful wife, who means the world to me. You might have heard of her?  
KANAYA: Perhaps  
KANAYA: Though Im Pretty Sure Now Is The Time To Talk About June  
KANAYA: So If Youre Going To “Wax Poetic” As You Like To Call It About Anyone It Should Be The Girl Weve Both Fallen Horns Over Feet For  
KANAYA: You Know The One  
KANAYA: But At The Moment Were Strapped For Ideas  
ROSE: I hate to admit it, but I think we might need....  
ROSE: Some outside assistance.  
KANAYA: Who Like Dave  
ROSE: No. Absolutely not Dave.  
KANAYA: Are You Sure Because Im Quite Certain Hed Be The Expert At Romantic Illiteracy Given His Ongoing “Friendship” With Karkat  
ROSE: Oh, absolutely, but he’s far better versed in being the dumbass in the situation. The both of them are.  
ROSE: We need someone who’s well-equipped in actually communicating with people like a normal person.  
KANAYA: Is There Anyone We Know Who Is Even Remotely Capable Of Such A Thing  
ROSE: That’s the problem, isn’t it?  
ROSE: Jade has flung herself far, far away from our friend group.  
KANAYA: Terezi Is All Over Vriska And Im Doubtful That Extracting Her From Serkets Side Is Even Possible  
KANAYA: And Vriska  
ROSE: No.  
KANAYA: No  
ROSE: So who does that leave us with?  
ROSE: Our group of progenitors?  
ROSE: I’m pretty sure I haven’t talked to Jake once in years.  
KANAYA: I Refuse To Request The Aid Of Any Potential Women Who “Just Want To Have A Conversation” About Limiting Our Reproductive Rights  
ROSE: Dirk is June’s ex, and...  
KANAYA: Roxy Is As Well  
KANAYA: They Broke Up Much More Recently As Well  
KANAYA: I Am Not Sure If Talking To Him Would Go Smoothly  
KANAYA: Also Do You Ever Think About How One Of The Women Were In Love With Has Dated Both Of Your Parents  
ROSE: I try extremely hard not to, and you’re making that ever so difficult right now.  
ROSE: If we considered the moral implications of the interactions between the Prospit and Derse families, we’d be shaking in the fetal position in no time.  
ROSE: Some things are best left repressed.  
KANAYA: So Were Left Without Any Options  
ROSE: Well...  


You hesitate for a moment. You know any of these interactions are going to be awkward as hell, but your… mother? (He says he still likes that, but you’re terribly afraid of misgendering him. You’re unfortunately quite acquainted with how that feels.) Your, well, parent, has a better grip on June than anyone. He unravelled her and helped her see “the gender feels”- even if the both of them just sat on June’s secret for the better part of a year. There’s really nobody better fit for the job- but asking June’s ex, who is also your parent, how you and your wife can get June in on your relationship is… well, for one thing, it sounds incredibly fucking fascinating. Think of the possibilities! The Freudian nonsense! Honestly, you’re getting excited just thinking about it. 

You purse your lips into a tiny smile. 

ROSE: I think we’re going to have to go visit Roxy.  


* 

Roxy and Callie lived not too far away, in an apartment down in Very New York. Although Roxy was indifferent to the hustle and bustle- he’d grown up with it, after all- it was delightful to Callie. You really do feel bad for them, having grown up all alone. It’s just nice that they can be happy now, together with Roxy. 

Shit, are they together? Why are there so many horrifically unclear pseudoromantic relationships in your friend group? It’s as though you and Kanaya are the only ones that try to make things work. 

You touch down on the rooftop of their apartment building, Kanaya riding on your back. Roxy made sure they picked an empty place to live in, as not to inadvertently gentrify the entire building with their sheer presence- which you thought was kind of egotistical at the time, but you’ve recently realized all of your neighbors are quadrillionaires. Kanaya shakes off the fluster and fixes her hair- you’re lucky enough to have some sort of magic god-tier quality keeping it intact from before takeoff. 

KANAYA: Id Be Lying If I Said I Wasnt Uncomfortable With This Exchange  
KANAYA: As Far As I Could Gather From Junes Sparse Admissions Things Are Not Entirely Amicable  
KANAYA: We Might Be Digging Up Wounds That Have Yet To Fully Heal  
ROSE: I appreciate the concern. I share it somewhat, but Roxy is incredibly resilient.  
ROSE: Besides, he’s been... involved with Calliope for quite some time now.  
ROSE: I’m sure things won’t be too painful for any parties involved.  
ROSE: If he didn’t want to handle something heavy, he probably wouldn’t have gone along with my message informing him that we had “serious interpersonal relationship drama” to discuss.  
KANAYA: Ill Trust Your Judgement When It Comes To Your Lusus  
KANAYA: Hesitantly But I Will  
ROSE: Glad to hear it. My love, if you would?  


You extend your hand out to Kanaya. She rolls her eyes for just a moment, but you see the slight tinge of jade lingering around her cheekbones. Hand in hand, the two of you head down the stairs from the rooftop down several floors. 

* 

You can barely knock twice before the door’s opened. Roxy’s standing there in front of you, his signature heart shades noticeably absent. His hair’s a bit shorter than it was last time you saw him, and it’s a bit disheveled. Your previous excitement begins to decay into raw anxiety as you consider the mistakes you already have made. Did he just wake up? It’s probably best not to bring it up- it’s entirely plausible that you wouldn’t notice something like that, anyway. At least, not when you’re so stuck in your own head, or in someone else’s. Now you’ve put so much thought into it, though, and it would be kind of rude to- 

KANAYA: Oh  
KANAYA: Hello Roxy Im Sorry Had You Just Woken Up  
KANAYA: The Opposing Circadian Rhythms Of Our Household Have Made Us Unaware Of Social Convention With Regards To Proper Sleeping Hours  
ROXY: nah dont worry abt it  
ROXY: im tryin to fix my whole schedule up  
ROXY: u kno it turns out u feel better when ur sleeping an amount that isnt like  
ROXY: 2 or 20 hours lmao  
KANAYA: I Can Imagine Yes  
ROXY: ok weve exceeded the limit of doorway talk why dont u 2 come inside  


Kanaya can’t see it, but you know Roxy a hell of a lot better than she does. This particular brand of nonchalance only comes about when Roxy’s trying to hide something- and, given the fact that you’re getting advice on how to date his ex, you can only presume that’s something such as pain, anger, rage, jealousy… not emotions Roxy’s known to wield in abundance, but it’s a difficult situation. You all exchange pleasantries- you put yourself on autopilot, bringing up something from your list of acceptable small talk topics. The weather? Dave and Karkat? Low-level gossip is easy. Your mind’s racing. You lack any ideas as to how you can break this stalemate- both sides know the situation, but of course you hadn’t brought up June, that’d be a faux pas, would it not? You’ve been sitting down next to Kanaya for like two minutes, and conversation is winding down. Things have been silent for at least ten seconds. Okay, that’s it, you’ve got to bring it up. 

ROSE: So, the impetus for our visit.  
ROXY: yeah u were real vague  
ROSE: Right, well...  
ROSE: We came for your... input on a few things.  
ROSE: Okay, just one quite large thing.  


That penultimate sentence comes out more like a question than a statement. You’re trying not to make too much eye contact- you’ve learned from experience that staring can easily give you away. 

ROXY: oh damn ok  
ROXY: need a professional on the case  
ROXY: doc roxs got u covered  
ROXY: whos the patient  
ROSE: Well- there’s a few, actually. Myself, Kanaya, and...  
ROXY: woah woah hold up  


Roxy seems contemplative, although it’s difficult to tell exactly how he’s feeling. Damn those shades. He’s even more inscrutable than Dave like this. 

ROXY: rose pls tell me u didnt cheat on ur beautiful wife  
ROXY: i cant do couples therapy not again  
ROSE: WHAT?  


This is not at all how you had seen this exchange going. 

KANAYA: No Its Actually Sort Of The Opposite  
KANAYA: And No Before You Ask I Did Not Cheat On Rose Either  
KANAYA: Its Upsetting That That Has To Be Clarified In The First Place But Alas Here We Are  
KANAYA: No You See The Problem Is  
KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: Dear If You Could Inform Him That Would Be Fantastic  
ROSE: Sigh.  


You brace yourself. You suddenly find it incredibly difficult to speak about something that should be so easy. Roxy’s reiterated to you several times over text that he and June are fine, that things are entirely cleared between them; but you’ve been skeptical. 

ROSE: Roxy, we’re....  
ROSE: We’re in love with June.  
ROSE: Both of us.  
KANAYA: Darling Did You Really Have To Use The L Word  
ROSE: Was it an inaccurate statement?  
KANAYA: Well No Not Exactly But If Were Trying To Lessen The Impac-  
ROSE: Shh.  


Roxy sits silent in front of you, face and features unmoving. Slowly, his mouth curves into a smile, which opens into a grin. In a flash, he tackles the both of you, pulling the three of you together. He leaps back, apparently unbothered by how frazzled you both are. 

ROXY: oh my fuck yall never told me u were poly i never would have guessed!  
ROXY: and june? yea shes the perfect fuckin match for both of u im so glad u finally figured it out  
ROXY: have u told her?  
ROXY: are u going on dates?  
ROXY: thats just  
ROXY: damn  
ROXY: fuck!!!!  
ROSE: Roxy.  


You feel as though Roxy has just become a vampire, draining you (and Kanaya, ironically) of your emotional energy. You were wholly unprepared for this reaction. Seer powers or no, Roxy continues to confound you. 

ROSE: The enthusiasm is appreciated, but...  
ROSE: We haven’t even asked her out.  
ROSE: Not for lack of trying, of course; we just find her entirely, uh...  
ROXY: oblivious  
ROXY: impossible  
ROXY: just kind of dumb when it comes to nything romantic whatsoever  
ROSE: Resistant to our advances.  
ROXY: yeah thats juney alright  
ROXY: hmmmm  


He pauses for just a moment. The glee you witnessed a few moments earlier has now faded into contemplation, quiet and stern. Or maybe it’s ironic? You swear, it’s like your sort-of-parent has become your brother. 

ROXY: have u tried like  
ROXY: actually talkin to her directly in any way shape or form  
ROXY: not just coming around in ur roundabout way where like u think ur being direct but actually youre not at all  
ROXY: i know u 2 do that  
ROSE:  
KANAYA:  
ROXY: yeah thats about what i thought lmao  
ROXY: thats all i can really say  
ROXY: its easy for me but i kno thats not exactly yalls thing  
KANAYA: So Youre Telling Me We Should Just Come Right Out And Tell Her  
KANAYA: Im Sorry But Considering How Significantly Our Previous Advances Have Made Her More Frightened Than A Tiny Yipbeast Being Chased By Two Very Attractive Culling Drones Im Not Certain Shed Be Able To Take Something So Blunt  
ROSE: That’s a monumental declaration of affection you’re expecting from us, Roxy.  
ROSE: I didn’t even openly admit to liking Kanaya until we’d made out in Karkat’s closet.  
KANAYA: Far Too Much Information Dear  
ROXY: oh believe me i already kno it all  
ROXY: u cant surprise me anymore kanaya ;)  
KANAYA: I  
KANAYA: I Believe Weve Gotten Off Topic  
ROXY: well theres not really much else to say tbh  
ROXY: i love u two but like ur approach to flirting is nothing like junes  
ROXY: shes insecure and doesnt believe that shes worth loving  
ROXY: u gotta tell her she is  
ROXY: and prove it to her  
ROSE: Wow.  
ROSE: That was... surprisingly motivating.  
ROXY: didja expect anything else  


Roxy smirks just a bit. Although you know him well enough to know with certainty that he’s joking, you’re still filled with the fear that your words have been misconstrued. 

ROSE: No, that’s not what I meant!  
ROSE: It’s just...  
KANAYA: Rose Is Scared Of Fucking This Up  
ROSE: Yes, absolutely terrified.  
ROSE: I’ve known her for so incredibly long; what if she doesn’t feel the same way?  
ROSE: I worry that I’ve spent all my luck with Kanaya. How can I convince another woman so exquisite to love me? To love us?  
KANAYA: I Admit Im Rather Nervous Too Although I Am Trying To Breach The Subject More Rationally  
KANAYA: June Cares For The Two Of Us Very Much  
KANAYA: The Matter Of Whether Or Not That Extends To Romantic Attraction Is The One That Is Debatable  
KANAYA: Particularly To The Both Of Us  
KANAYA: My History With June Is Far Shorter Than My Wifes  
KANAYA: In Fact It Was Only Quite Recently That I  
KANAYA: Opened My Eyes So To Speak  
ROXY: well ur kinda talkin to the dating june expert here  
ROXY: so like  
ROXY: listen up  
ROXY: first off  
ROXY: this is kinda confidential info but ill leak it to the press here  
ROXY: (ur the press dont actually tell anyone else)  
ROXY: my homegirls defo poly  
ROXY: like weve talked romantic relationships n shit and thats clear as day to me  
ROXY: and tbh the way she talked about yall even when we were dating makes it prty damn obvious shes got some sort of romantic-ish feelings about you  
ROXY: the both of you  
ROXY: so u need to open up 2gether, and shell finally see that both of you feel the way she does  
ROXY: juney doesnt know how to express those feelings bc she doesnt trust herself to feel them  
ROXY: she used to feel predatory back when she thought she was a boy  
ROXY: i doubt bein a hot babe really fixes that for her  
ROXY: when u tell her  
ROXY: and u WILL tell her  
ROXY: you gotta prove to her that she hasnt tricked yall into loving her  
ROXY: becuz thats what shes gonna assume  
ROXY: i really think u 3 would be great together  


The three of you sit in silence for what feels like forever. There isn’t an awkward aura to the room- it’s just that you’re lost in contemplation, and Roxy is giving you your time. Approaching June directly terrifies you in a way you briefly struggle to explain. Eventually, you settle on the dissatisfactory conclusion that you, Rose Lalonde, might struggle just a little with emotional openness. What a surprise. The silence has become uncomfortable for you personally, now. After all, the lack of conversation is pretty indicative of your lack of social merit. The lull has now become a pause too great for you to handle. 

ROSE: Ahem.  
ROSE: Well, I think we’ve got a lot to sit on.  
ROSE: Care to move onto less complex topics of discussion?  
KANAYA: No Problems Here  
ROXY: ah well  
ROXY: tbh i actually have a date w/ callie  
ROXY: so if yall dont need any more emergency help then like i think im gonna bounce  
ROXY: sorry to burst ur bubbles  


You all exchange pleasantries and are basically pushed out of the apartment. It’s not until you’re halfway back home that you realize Roxy was probably still hurting about the breakup. Your concerns were valid after all. (That’s your way of saying that Kanaya was right.) 

Oh, well. You’ll have to make it up to him later. Now is the time for planning a confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you everyone for reading! Your input means the world to me.  
If you're not tired of my endless plugging, have some more:  
I'm @rosemarinae on Twitter *and* Tumblr now, as well as here! Everything lines up. Follow me there for stray political takes and dumb jokes, as well as updates on my non-fanfic projects!  
The next chapter, uh, sure is going to show up at some point! It'll feature Jade, a character I have zero experience writing. Before this chapter, however, I had zero experience writing Roxy, so hopefully it shouldn't take too long! My goal's to have it out by the 29th, but no promises. Seriously, don't hold your breath.


	4. THIS ISN'T A NEW CHAPTER. DON'T GET EXCITED.

hey. it's rose. how's it going?

well anyway, i have some bad news: this fic isn't getting completed, uh, ever. it's not because i'm too lazy to write, i do that plenty for my other projects on my [website](https://rosemarinae.com) and shit, it's just that, uh.

hussie's an abuser?

yeah so from another fic that was in the same place i kinda found [this pastebin](https://archive.is/FT5BG) that had a lot of information that was, uh, eye-opening. i am a staunch believer in both believing victims _and_ not supporting harmful creators, and so that puts me in a tough place. homestuck meant a lot to me, and, much to my chagrin, it still does. i literally go by "rose" because of it, for fuck's sake. but, like. i can't keep things going knowing this shit. i just can't.

so this fic's going to stay up. i'm going to lock it from non-AO3 users and do a bunch of other shit to make it distant from homestuck cultural canon. sorry to disappoint.

homestuck twitter/tumblr mutuals: i'd like to remain in context! i like talking to y'all! but, like, if i see a bunch of homestuck shit from you, i might unfollow. sorry. i promise it's nothing personal, i just...

ugh. this sucks so hard.

this is me signing off of homestuck fic for the forseeable future, if not forever. i had a great time. thanks y'all.

if you're still interested in my other stuff, my [website](https://rosemarinae.com) has everything i do, more or less. it also may become the only place you can read my fic at some point in the near future, so i'd keep it bookmarked even if your heart is still held by homestuck. okay, that's all. bye everyone.

-rose


End file.
